Saturday, March 29, 2008

Supervisor? No Sweat!

The title is slightly misleading, as the two statements have nothing to do with each other, but everything to do with my life right now...
I've been working at Mountainside for about three weeks now, and I was offered the evening supervisor position at another gym. Granted, it should probably be someone who isn't married with kids, because to work evenings would be too hard, so that did rule out some qualified people. Still, there are several girls that I work with that are single and actually usually work evenings, and I was offered the job even though I've only been there a few weeks. I know I'm tooting my own horn, but I was very flattered. Also, when I did "circle time" (a time when the kids clean everything up and then we sing songs, read, and play games) I was complemented a lot by one co-worker, Bekki, who I deeply respect, and Jean, my manager. They have complemented me on several different things, but especially how well I can keep the attention of kids. Working here has just reassured me that I want to work with kids forever! I think that maybe when I get back from my mission I will change my major to early childhood education and then run a preschool out of my home someday. I love working with the little kids. I love singing songs and coloring. What is better than reading a book with ten kids sitting as close as possible to you? I am so happy when I'm at work, I even forget about some of my lame co-workers who skip out on doing their jobs.
In other news, I'm finally feeling healthy! I have been sick with one bug or another for a month! As a part of this I developed night sweats. Gross, I know, but it is true. I would have to start on one side of my bed, and when I woke up soaked, I would roll to the other side so my sheets would dry. Well, last night I slept soundly with no sweating. That is when I realized that I was really feeling good for the first time in a long time. I still have allergies, but that is just annoying, it doesn't make me feel sick. I am so thankful to be feeling better! I feel like I passed that test or something, like I proved that I could keep going even when I'm really sick. I went to work and everything! Even when I had strep! Now that test is over, and it feels good, but I also know that Satan won't rest and the Lord wants to prepare me, so it is only a matter of time before the next. No sweat! I can do it. With the help of the Lord, I can do anything!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Positive?

I've been sick for so long! I've gone from one virus to another, or possibly the same one, but either way, I've been sick for over three weeks! It recently got really bad so I finally went to the doctor yesterday to get some medicine. I woke up really itchy and at work I noticed a rash. Yes, a rash, that means strep throat. Oh goody. I haven't had strep for several years, not since I was a kid. I went to the doctor, who was actually a very friendly and happy man- very positive. He did a quick strep test and you guessed it, it came back positive. Isn't that misleading? Positive? Strep throat isn't exactly a good thing... I guess it is good to get some medicine. I highly recommend a "z-pack" for any bacterial ailment! I'm already feeling much better, I still have a cold and probably will for a few more weeks, but that is liveable. I'm really proud of myself because through all of this I haven't missed any work, I've even picked up several extra shifts at Mountainside. This week I will have worked there Monday through Saturday! Twice what I normally do. I've fallen behind a bit in my classwork and cleaning my room while I've been sick, but I haven't called in sick, I haven't used it as a crutch or excuse to sleep all day (though I have been sleeping all night, going to bed around 5 sometimes!). I am kicking some depression trash! I've been POSITIVE about everything. Me being sick has really been a good thing. I have been home for things I wouldn't have been otherwise. I have seen that I can keep going when I'm sick. I can go on a mission and not let my health hinder the work. I will win, the Lord will win! I am so thankful for the Lord's influence and help in my life, I could not have done it without Him!

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Piston Cup

I got another job! I am working at Mountainside Fitness in child care. It just fell perfectly into place. I went in for an interview and was offered the job on the spot, buy Otto's mom! Small world! I work with Becky, wife of Adam, one of the accountants at BCFO. Corey Gillett also works at there too. So fun! Well, before I could start, I had to get fingerprinted and and drug tested... which means I had to pee in a cup. Something I struggle doing... I have a bladder that has me running to the bathroom frequently, but it is extremely shy, so that no matter how much water I drink, I struggle to pee in a cup. Anyways, the title 'Piston Cup' is courtesy of Katie Lewis's nephew, Eric. When he heard Piston Cup on 'Cars' he said 'what did he do in his cup?'
I love my job. I love working with so many different kids and seeing all their different personalities. I love being able to calm down some of the more difficult kids. I love that they easily warm up to me. I love it when they are excited to see me. I love coloring and reading with them. I love playing peek-a-boo. I love it that they even try to help me clean the toys. It is such a great job!!
It has been hard trying to manage two jobs, school, and family. I'm not getting as much sleep as I'm used to, but I'm adjusting and it feels good to be active and accomplishing a lot. Life is hard, but good. I'm being pushed and prepared. It isn't always great, sometimes the kids at work won't stop crying, or they give me thier colds, or Mark just really bugs me at BCFO, but the not so good help me to appreciate the good.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Peace

I hate feeling confused, not knowing what I should do, or when to do it. I hate feeling torn between my desires, what I think is the right thing to do, and most of all what my mom thinks the right thing to do is. I've decided to go on a mission and I know it is the right thing to do. I know that is the Lord's will for me. It is in all the details that I am, or was, confused. My mom wants me to wait a few months to turn in my papers, until I have better control over my depression, but I really feel like I need to do it now, and that having a date that I need to be ready to go by will help me to push myself. She feels really strongly about this, but so do I. I was afraid that I was forcing a yes from the Lord, like I didn't really turn my will over to Him because the answer I got is the one I wanted. But I really hate going against my mom and how she feels. I also know I need to find another job to earn more money, but I'm wasn't sure where and was having a ton of obstacles pop up out of no where.
Well, this past week and a bit I have had an awful cold, one of the worst I've ever had, and yesterday I had one of the worst headaches I had ever had. Nothing would get rid of my headache, and I tried everything. I asked Wayne for a blessing for my headache, but it ended up being so much more! He, acting on behalf of Heavenly Father, blessed me that I might "know things" and that I would do the Lord's will, and not what my mom, Wayne, or even I wanted. There were several other wonderful things said, but these things made the biggest difference to me. Thursday night I looked for job postings and Friday morning, before the blessing I felt like maybe Buffalo Wild Wings would be a good option, the blessing re-affirmed to me that I need to do something like that. I need to break out of my comfort zone, I need to get used to seeing beer, so that as I enter someone's home on my mission I don't look shocked, or judgemental. It may sound weird, but I feel like I really need to get used to being around alcohol and people that are fairly drunk. I also realized, that if I feel it is the Lord's will to turn in my papers now, that it doesn't matter what my mom wants me to do, or Wayne, just the Lord. I know this now. I know that while my mom can receive revelation for me, so can I! I guess I had always just thought that since she was my mom, she trumped me, but the reality is the Lord trumps us all! Anyways, after all these roller coaster emotions, I feel peace. I am meeting with my Bishop tomorrow and I'm going to tell him more about my depression, and how bad it got, and tell him what my mom thinks, and what I feel. I know that he is my Priesthood leader, and can guide me as such. I still hope to start my papers either this week or next. A while ago, the Lord had been showing me lots of things about timing, and how it had to be the right timing. I realize it would be easier to not turn in my papers now, to not have to find a job in the next week, to not have to work like crazy, to have plenty of time to change my sleep schedule, but that isn't how it works. The best things in life aren't easy. The next few months will be crazy with school, two jobs, and trying to spiritually prepare, not to mention trying to find clothes that are actually long enough. And then the eighteen months after that will be busy, but busy serving the Lord and His children. I am scared to have so many changes, scared that I will really struggle, or that people won't like me, but I'm determined. I will succeed, not in the world's standards, or even my own, but by the Lord's. I know this is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I know my Savior and Redeemer lives, loves, and knows me personally. I know my Heavenly Father has a plan for me and will do everything possible to help me. I know that I am meant to go on a mission, and not in the future, but now. I have been blessed to "know things". I no longer feel confused and anxious. I have been blessed to feel peace.