Blech. That is how I feel as I lay in bed staring at my ceiling. I have this disease where my brain won't shut up so I can sleep. I think it is called over active stupidity... Yep, sounds about right. Sometimes writing, organizing, sorting out, or just talking out my thoughts helps and since I'm too tired or organize or sort and while I mutter to myself, I try to avoid full conversations, so here I am. My laptop is hot on my lap, my glasses dirty, and my fingers keeping hitting the wrong keys, so lets see how this goes...
I got a great new job. It is at a law firm and I'll get to work with Ashley Hathcock and Stacy Thomas. It is full-time and pays well. It is out in Phoenix, so I'll have over an hour commute each way, but that'll be great to study and could even lead to missionary opportunities. As exciting as this is, it also means I've had to quit my other jobs. Dairy Queen and Fry's I had no problem quiting- I hated DQ, especially my potty mouth manager, and I hadn't even finished my training at Fry's. Quiting Bloomfield, the cpa's office, was harder. I've worked there for almost two years and I've gotten really close to some of the people there, especially Carla. It really is a fun atmosphere, well, Carla is fun, Mark (my boss) was always nosy and annoying... I liked the work I did there and I am going to miss Carla. I will miss Carla and Carl shooting rubber bands. I will miss Kirk always asking me what my plans for the weekend are. I'll miss Adam constantly quoting the office, I'm sure we had other common interests, but never bothered to find them out. I'll miss Curt, Caraline's older brother, being a little awkweird around me, not sure if I'm a co-worker or his little sister's friend. I'll miss La Dawn talking to me about her teenage daughters. It was a great office and was what I needed at the time. I've got great things ahead of me and this new job will only help, but I'm going to miss Bloomfield CFO.
Blech
In other news, everyone is freaking dating someone! David is dating the adorably Kamilynn. I couldn't be happier for them, I'm glad that David has found someone to like and that likes him back. I can't even count the number of receptions I've been to in the last bit, but tonight I went to Aaron & Allie Dahl's. They are so great together and the reception reflected their fun personalities. Jessie and Tyler make me extremely happy as well. I can't think of a better match for either of them. I just hope they get hitched before I leave for my mission. My own Dawnee Ray is getting married in less than a month to the wonderful Brother Robert. Ashley is still dating Collin... are they next? All I know is that I won't block her from catching the bouquet ;). Caraline was dating Mr. Ryan and tonight she went out with the ever so attractive Danny Levitt. Is two in one summer fair? I guess it is Caraline. Katie Hawkes and Lee have had their little EFY crushes, some more memorable than others... The only ones that aren't dating someone are Brooke and Katie Lew, and that is only as far as I know. It is a strange feeling to be so happy for all of these people, equally jealous, and then even more excited for a mission. My mom asked me if I was going on a mission just because there weren't any marriage prospects, and I quickly responded no. She challenged me to really pray and think about it, and I can still surely answer that marriage prospects or not, I not only want to go on mission, but it is what I'm supposed to be doing. Yet, my heart does still long to have what these people have found- someone to think about when I'm stuck at a traffic light, someone to call me just to see how my day was going, someone to stalk on facebook to find just one more picture of them (like you've never done it or at least thought about it), someone to snuggle with while watching a good movie, someone to save you a seat for Sunday School, someone to look for when you enter a room only to find that he was looking for you too. This is something I've never experienced, and while I don't regret any of my decisions in the relationship arena, I still feel like something is missing. I know, or at least hope, that someday my prince will come, but he sure is slow. Well, he does have another two years to get on his white horse, so in the meantime I guess I'll just stick to singing with my woodland friends.
Blech
Then there is my less than sane family. I'm worried sick about Danny. I miss him and wish he'd still come around. I concerned for Dallas & Jenn, Brandon, Chase, and Erek. I want them to make not just good choices, but the right choices. I want Dall & Jenn to take control of their futures- Dall to finish school and them to start a family. I want Brandon to get the help he needs, he still seems to be hurting so much and unless he corrects the problem he'll continue to repeat it. Chase is skinny, super skinny. Maybe he doesn't realize he looks good, but I hope he starts to eat more soon. Erek will forever be a worry of mine. He is too kind and submissive to really stand up for what he needs and often gets hurt in the process. I love them all so much. I know I have my problems too, and I'm sure they worry about me, but I think I realize my weaknesses and what needs to change. I don't always take those steps, but they do their best to help me and I hope I can do the same for them.
Blech
I'm really excited to go on a mission, but discouraged about how long it is taking. My papers are almost done, I'm just waiting on the last of the medical. I thought I'd be leaving in a few weeks, if not already gone. Sometimes it is harder than others to trust in the Lord and in His timing. I have to be careful to not let my righteous desire be overthrown my my impatience. I just hope I can do all the good I'm meant to do, in the field and here. I want to serve the Lord, I just have to remember that His will, not mine also includes His time.
Blech
So many feelings and thoughts about so many different things, most of them contradicting another one. Blech.
